I’ve written many times how the color “Pink” caused fear to rear its ugly head in my heart and soul. Thought I was over it. But something changed. My dear daughter-in-law, Cesilia was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. When I heard the news, I felt a grip of fear entangle itself inside me again.
I had been cleared recently of any cancer. But for this precious young woman of 41, the mother of 4 sweet grandchildren, my son…I had to hide the terror. It brought back all those memoires I’d let go from 28 years ago and here came fear. Not for me, but for her. I couldn’t bear it. I cried, I prayed, I pleaded with God to heal her completely.
Her journey has become mine. I’m living through it with her, and I remember her hour after hour each day, praying for the tumor to shrink. The chemo is nasty. Takes away every strand of hair on your body. Makes you sick. Causes brain fog and fatigue.
But this young wife and mom is facing it with courage and a faith so strong…I’m ashamed at the fear I have poured onto myself. It’s what happens for cancer survivors. Breast cancer survivors. We become one with the newly diagnosed woman.
I know that on October 1st, pink will be everywhere. Pro football players will wear pink shoes, place the pink ribbon on their jerseys, pink ill be featured in clothing, jewelry, etc. as we celebrate survivors and mourn those who didn’t make it.
Cesilia is teaching me courage, wisdom, faith. I would love to post her photo, but I do not have her permission. Trust me when I say she is the poster woman for breast cancer. I will post my photo taken 28 years ago.
So Here I am…28 years ago…bald, chemo brain…frightened…but holding it together